No, I don’t wear flip-flips, but my sister does. Here’s the story.
I had bearing go out on me yesterday. The right, rear walker bearing. You know, the one behind the arm that drives the grain pan? Right. I’ve never been able to remove the race from that particular bearing without cutting it, and my sister, Megan, was conveniently available. I decided to have her watch for fire while I cut the lock collar and race off of the shaft. After the first blow of the torch, sparks flew as expected and I hear her say “fire”. I think nothing much of it, look down and see that it is currently about the size of a saucer and say, “Quick, stomp it out.” She replies, “But I have flip-flops on!”
About that time, the wind decides that we’re not having enough fun. By the time I get the torch shut off and jump off of the rear wheel, on which I had been standing, the wind had gusted such that the fire now not only consumed its previous saucer sized section, but it now was burning in a home swimming pool size area directly under the rear of the combine, not to mention that the chaff that had accumulated on the rear axle had also caught on fire. I was about to stop, drop, and roll over the fire, putting it out with my body, when I remembered the water that we had stored in the wheat truck that runs like a lame dog for when it overheats. We got the fire put out, but if the wind would have gusted once more we could have had an entire, uncut wheat field up in flames with only Megan’s flip-flops to blame.
In other news, I wrote more stuff yesterday than I have in the last five months. No, none of the lyrics include burning wheat stubble, fire, or flip-flops.
I’m currently finding it hard to find anything in life superior to Swiss cheese. You know why the Swiss have good cheese? Because they don’t spend everything they have on the military and fighting wars. We have shitty cheese in this country.
I’m testing the limits of my email box. I haven’t checked it in 4 days and I have something like 950 unread messages. If you wish to add to that total to bitch about something I’ve said here or anywhere on the site, feel free to contribute.
For all you automated email-collecting spiders out there, there is my email address for all to see. Add it to your collections, you heartless bastards.
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